Monday, 11 January 2010

Snow !!!

So global warming has hit the UK with temperatures as low as -22 in places and snow covering the whole of the country.

British Gas is about to run out of gas so we will all freeze and the councils have run out of grit and will be sending compulsory purchase orders to all the pet shops later today. This will mean that over then next few weeks will be seeing a load of constipated budgies all over the place.

I don't know how they have run out of grit as I haven't seen a gritter anywhere on the road into work and all round where I live there is a layer of permafrost on the ground.

It's so bad that people are unable to make any headway no matter how hard they rev the engines, I've even passed 4 wheel drive vehicles who are having trouble getting going. This does not seem to be a problem with the actual vehicle but an inability on the drivers behalf to select 4 wheel drive and to move off gently.

So far my old Rover diesel has managed to get anywhere I want to go without any sliding (unless of course I want to).

So this is the end, as very soon we will not be able to go anywhere as the roads will be blocked with abandoned vehicles, there will be no food in the shops and no gas so we will all freeze to death anyway.

Goodbye world
Just to make you feel warm, here's a picture of the UK taken by NASA on the 7th of Jab 2010.

Friday, 1 January 2010

The true meaning of the twelve days of Christmas

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,  Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,  Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

Just thought you should know